Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
ADAM CAROLLAI’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
ADAM CAROLLA