All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
ADAM CAROLLAI’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLA