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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

Adam Carolla

I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
ADAM CAROLLA

Architecture Car Dirty Hammer Money Stuff Wanted
The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
ADAM CAROLLA

Beautiful Beauty Definition Miracle Outside Profession
You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
ADAM CAROLLA

Card Control Credit More Much Navigate Pill Realize Sugar Use
I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLA

Card Cue Feeling Good Positive Reader
I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
ADAM CAROLLA

Behind Feeling Feelings Joke Sort Stand Trying
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
ADAM CAROLLA

Breed Cat Certain Like People Performing Radio Stuff Television
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ball Basketball Game Inspirational Playground Ymca
They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
ADAM CAROLLA

Advertize Bejeeezus Commercial Out Pie Seen Yogurt
Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
ADAM CAROLLA

Attracted Chick Doing Happen Love Dude Money Successful
If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
ADAM CAROLLA

Museums Rembrandt Somebody Spend Walking
Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
ADAM CAROLLA

Oprah Read Reading Tell Thinking Women
Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
ADAM CAROLLA

Head Hungarian Paprikash Reader Some Toss World
When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
ADAM CAROLLA

Agent Back Country Feet Gonna Mountain Power Sterilizing
The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
ADAM CAROLLA

Book Creative Reading Teliviosn Truth Watching
I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
ADAM CAROLLA

Admit God Know Law Other Same Way World
I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
ADAM CAROLLA

Angry Comically Complaining Laughing People Start

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

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