I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
ADAM CAROLLAOf course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
ADAM CAROLLA