I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLAOprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
ADAM CAROLLA