I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
ADAM CAROLLAI used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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I get depressed at airports.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA