“I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.”

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.

I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.

My first car was a motorcycle.

You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.

You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.”

A new artist today has to get their teeth fixed, has to tighten their jeans up, and they have to get ’em the right kind of hat, and if anything’s wrong with their nose, if it’s a little crooked, it’s got to be straightened up.

Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy.

I wrinkled my nose, trying to figure out what he smelled like. Not cigarettes. Something richer, fouler. Cigars.

I don’t care what your nose says! The last time you smelled half-blood, it turned out to be a meatloaf sandwich!” “Meatloaf sandwiches are good! But this is a half-blood scent, I swear. They are on board!” “Bah, your brain isn’t on board!

I didn’t know that idiocy caused people to just start spontaneously bleeding from the nose.

I go out there and get my eyes gouged, my nose busted, my body slammed. I love the pain of the game.

Joy, temperance, and repose, slam the door on the doctor’s nose.