I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
ADAM CAROLLAWhen you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
ADAM CAROLLA