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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.

Adam Carolla

Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
ADAM CAROLLA

Christmas Country Dad Every Imagine Seeing Three Year
I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
ADAM CAROLLA

Advertise Good Ice Cream Pie Thinking
I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
ADAM CAROLLA

Biggest Coffee Soccer Soft Thinking Whatever World
I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
ADAM CAROLLA

Guy Need Personality Pople Represent Want
I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
ADAM CAROLLA

Money Myself Plenty Want Working
I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
ADAM CAROLLA

Favourite Form Freedom Mess Podcast Really
Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
ADAM CAROLLA

Allow Atheist Guilt Man Myself Screw Sex Ten
If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
ADAM CAROLLA

Affiliation Everyone Glenn Beck Life Media Started Towards Worried
I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLA

Democrat Democratic Republican Used
We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
ADAM CAROLLA

Brush Front never Own Pick Stand
I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
ADAM CAROLLA

Blue Collar Doofus Guy Valley
That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
ADAM CAROLLA

Dream Force Like Love Pursue Quit Sport Writing
People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
ADAM CAROLLA

College Look People Smart White
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLA

Arrival Funny Humor Smell Trumpet
Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
ADAM CAROLLA

Any Form Over Shape Taking Talk Way Weird
Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
ADAM CAROLLA

Air Conservative Country People Place Stories Story Use

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.

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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.

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Popular Authors

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