“I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.”

If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.

Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to

I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor

That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?

If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.

That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

The worst walls are never the ones you find in your way. The worst walls are the ones you put there .

I will never, ever regret the things I’ve done. Because most days, all you have are places in your memory that you can go to.

You can transmute love, ignore it, muddle it, but you can never pull it out of you.

Life never gives us what we want at the moment that we consider appropriate.

Being with you never felt wrong. It’s the one thing i did right. You’re the one thing i did right.

I never cared for politics before Barack Obama. I never thought it mattered to people like me.

A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.

But mad people never die. That’s a well-known fact. They’ve nothing to trouble them, and they live for ever.