If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
ADAM CAROLLAIf birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
ADAM CAROLLA






