Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCEAborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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