Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
AMBROSE BIERCEAmbition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
-
-
The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
To the eye of failure success is an accident.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE