LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCEResponsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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