He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCE