Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
LILY TOMLINThe best mind-altering drug is the truth.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
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If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
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No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.
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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
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I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
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The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.
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If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
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I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
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You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
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I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
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But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.
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Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
LILY TOMLIN