If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGANAll I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






