Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






