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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.

Norm MacDonald

I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
NORM MACDONALD

Computer Enough Food Money Myself Need Right Technology Yourself
Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD

Advice Man Opinion
Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
NORM MACDONALD

Behavior Hate Love Mental People Violence
Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
NORM MACDONALD

Afraid Destroy People Trust
It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
NORM MACDONALD

Fortune Policy Wasted Time
Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Man Money Sick Win Yourself
I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
NORM MACDONALD

Care Exercise Preference Sex Win Yourself
You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALD

Hate Love Rival Team Yourself
Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
NORM MACDONALD

Comedy Funny Laughter Surprise Yourself
As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
NORM MACDONALD

Body Heart Occasion Passion Soul Tranquility
There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
NORM MACDONALD

Communication Fools Practice Report Understand
Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
NORM MACDONALD

Care Carry Force Limitation Restriction Worst Youth
He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
NORM MACDONALD

Himself Praise Search
If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
NORM MACDONALD

Desire Praise Yourself
You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
NORM MACDONALD

Best Dreams Goodness Life Right Wake Up Yourself
Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
NORM MACDONALD

Enjoyment Love Man Small Wind

Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.

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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.

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