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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Enough Food Politics
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Sea Sick Tree
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Animal Worth
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN

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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

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