In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGANA sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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I told you I was sick.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGAN