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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Death Myself Quote Right Talk Word
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Age Anxiety Funny Myself Time
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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Funny Identity Person Play Race
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
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Funny Kill Learning Love Myself Time
Clones are people two.
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One Liner People
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Inspirational Motivational Struggle Way Wrong Yourself
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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Darkness Device Myself
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Alphabet Order Song
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Book Funny Myself Writing
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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Experience Need Yourself
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Deep Funny Live Nature Ocean
$Steven Wright Quote - Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.$

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Mathematics People Trouble
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Appearance Different Fingers Hands
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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Coffee Myself Time
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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Devil Evil Fantasy Funny Taste True
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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Angry Depression Enthusiasm One Liner Perspective Sick

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