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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

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Funny Goodness Myself Oneself Worth

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Coffee Myself Time
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Book Funny Myself Writing
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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Death Funny Success Yourself
I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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Food Funny Myself Service Time
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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Eyes Myself Prescription Ran Walk
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Appearance Different Fingers Hands
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
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Crime Man Office Photograph Writing
My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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Children Friendship Himself
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Flight Leaving One Liner Yourself
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Far Forever Goodness Immortal Live Myself
If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
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Money Thinking Worth Yourself
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Advice Bird Deep Funny Patience Worm
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Destroy Evidence Success Try Yourself
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Bad Conscience Memories
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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Mathematics Pronunciation Sound
I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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Myself People

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