I can speak Esperanto like a native.
SPIKE MILLIGANAre you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






