Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
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You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
STEVEN WRIGHT