I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGANAristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
SPIKE MILLIGAN