My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGANAristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGAN