I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
STEVEN WRIGHTHow much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
STEVEN WRIGHT