In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAINThe secret to getting ahead is getting started.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
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When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
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A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
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I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
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If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
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The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
MARK TWAIN