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Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

Joan Rivers

Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
JOAN RIVERS

Darkness Hard Time Optimism Positive Present Success Thinking
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
JOAN RIVERS

Cook Food Man Marriage Responsibility Sex Woman
Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
JOAN RIVERS

Process Worry
Here’s a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.
JOAN RIVERS

Enough Thankful Yourself
I’m racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson’s back when he was black.
JOAN RIVERS

Black Friendship Himself Myself Possible Race
A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.
JOAN RIVERS

Dog Funny Study Young
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.
JOAN RIVERS

Alive Bad Care Enjoyment Goodness Life Myself
Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
JOAN RIVERS

Goodness Hands Library Look Men Woman
In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none.
JOAN RIVERS

Day Expectation Life Yourself
If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.
JOAN RIVERS

Deal Laugh Yourself
I said to my husband, ‘Why don’t you call out my name when we’re making love?’ He said, ‘I don’t want to wake you up.’
JOAN RIVERS

Funny Himself Husband Love Myself
Life is a movie, and you’re the star. Give it a happy ending.
JOAN RIVERS

End Happiness Life Movie Stars Yourself
I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
JOAN RIVERS

Hell Holy Water
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’
JOAN RIVERS

Funny Hell Herself Mom Myself
If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor.
JOAN RIVERS

Funny God Himself
If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn’t scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
JOAN RIVERS

Believe Greatness Marriage People Scare

Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

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Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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