“Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.”

You have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.

I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.

Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.

My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “pick up, I know you’re there.”

My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, “Why can’t you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can’t you be like your cousin Shelia?” Shelia had died at birth.

If you can’t make fun of yourself, you don’t have any right to make fun of others.

Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.

Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.

If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn’t scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.

I’m no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.

Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you’re okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.

You know it’s time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary.

I have no boobs whatsoever. On my wedding night my husband said, ‘Let me help you with those buttons’ and I told him, ‘I’m completely naked’.

Failure — The man who can tell others what to do and how to do it, but never does it himself.

If you asked me, ‘What do you want to say?’ it would be, ‘Love yourself more.’

My mother is a great source of advice and wisdom and consolation for me.

If you advise someone on the condition that they have to accept it, then you are an oppressor.

Never take advice from someone you wouldn’t trade places with.

My advice for life: dance and sing your song while the party is still on.

People who are able to do their own thinking should not allow others to do it for them.

We go lightheartedly on our way, never thinking that by a careless word or two we may have altered the whole course of human lives, for some person will take our advice and use it.