When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
JOAN RIVERSDon’t worry about the money. Love the process.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn’t scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
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Florida wants to change the state’s motto to attract younger people. They’re thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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There are many self-help books by Ph.D.s, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A.-I’ve Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it…Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
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Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.
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Grandchildren can be annoying – how many times can you go: “And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink”? It’s like talking to a supermodel.
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Life is a movie, and you’re the star. Give it a happy ending.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: ‘We will laugh tomorrow about this.’ And you do.
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Don’t tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won’t respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, ‘Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.’.
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Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you’re funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
JOAN RIVERS