Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.
JOAN RIVERS
If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.
JOAN RIVERS -
The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.
JOAN RIVERS -
Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
JOAN RIVERS -
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
JOAN RIVERS -
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “pick up, I know you’re there.”
JOAN RIVERS -
You have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
JOAN RIVERS -
You know you’re getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
JOAN RIVERS -
Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn’t remember the lines.
JOAN RIVERS -
There are many self-help books by Ph.D.s, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A.-I’ve Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune.
JOAN RIVERS -
With age comes wisdom. You don’t need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
JOAN RIVERS -
I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, “Marry him, you’ll double your wardrobe.”
JOAN RIVERS -
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
JOAN RIVERS -
Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
JOAN RIVERS -
I said to my husband, ‘Why don’t you call out my name when we’re making love?’ He said, ‘I don’t want to wake you up.’
JOAN RIVERS -
We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us.
JOAN RIVERS -
Moving on is a gift you give yourself.
JOAN RIVERS