“Life is so tough. I don’t know how old you are, but I’ve seen so much in a wink. One phone call and your life is changed forever. We all know that. You better laugh at everything.”

On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.

On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.

Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?

Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?

Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?

I saw what’s going on under my chin. I don’t want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: ‘We will laugh tomorrow about this.’ And you do.

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you’re funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

I said to my husband, ‘Why don’t you call out my name when we’re making love?’ He said, ‘I don’t want to wake you up.’

To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.

One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.

With age comes wisdom. You don’t need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.

I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

Don’t cook. Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum.

I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to ‘ripley’s believe it or not’ – they sent it back and said, “we don’t believe it.”

Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

Art is eternal for it reveals the inner landscape which is the soul of man.

Eternity. It is the sea mingled with the sun.

He who lives in eternity dwells in the heart of the humble and in the soul of the penitent!

In the gates of eternity the black hand and the white hand hold each other with equal clasp.

To be always relevant, you have to say things which are eternal.

My dream was to not get a day job but to sleep, wake up and do my music. I want to keep that dream forever.

Suffering is a great favor. Remember that everything soon comes to an end . . . and take courage. Think of how our gain is eternal.

Out of love, No regrets– Though the goodness Be wasted forever. Out of love, No regrets– Though the return Be never.