“Florida wants to change the state’s motto to attract younger people. They’re thinking about: More than just a great place to die.”

Keep moving. It’s hard for old age to hit a moving target.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.

Grandchildren can be annoying – how many times can you go: “And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink”? It’s like talking to a supermodel.

When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, “Marry him, you’ll double your wardrobe.”

Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it’s happening.

Here’s a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.

If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.

I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.

Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.

My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.

Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

Elizabeth Taylor’s so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know.

He wasn’t like a moth attracted to her flame. He was like a vampire in love with her eternal darkness.

Good quality will attract the quantity.

The past is always attractive because it is drained of fear.

I think people who are attracted to the fashion industry are people who are really insecure and looking for a certain identity.

France? I don’t want to be anti-French but there isn’t a more unattractive group of people on the streets.

The Taj Mahal can be a tourist attraction, an architectural marvel, but it can never be treated as a monument of faith. After all, there is a difference between tourism and faith.

See yourself living in abundance and you will attract it.

I cannot recite Hanuman chalisa at home and wear a skull cap outside just to attract votes. It is my responsibility that, without losing my identity, I must ensure a peaceful environment for people of all faiths so that they can follow their beliefs.