Old age is always ten years more than we are.
JOAN RIVERS
JOAN RIVERS
More from Joan Rivers
If you can’t make fun of yourself, you don’t have any right to make fun of others.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn’t scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers I’m no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you’re okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers You know it’s time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers I have no boobs whatsoever. On my wedding night my husband said, ‘Let me help you with those buttons’ and I told him, ‘I’m completely naked’.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers Edgar had a heart attack, and I’m to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers Life is so tough. I don’t know how old you are, but I’ve seen so much in a wink. One phone call and your life is changed forever. We all know that. You better laugh at everything.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers I’m racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson’s back when he was black.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers
Original quotes
From our community writers
Even with broken wings, she dares to fly. And even with a broken heart, she dares to love.
Divya khandalDivya khandal And I refuse to apologize until the very end for the way that I feel – my feelings are valid too.
Carmen AmadosCarmen Amados Contemplate your own mortality daily, then see how much we must change.
Chris AllchinChris Allchin Poetry is the voice of the soul and the inspiration of the heart.
Teresa PeresTeresa Peres We parted sadly, like children in the street on a pleasant june afternoon.
Iestyn TudorIestyn Tudor And what shall I call you? Yours. In this life, the ones before, and all others thereafter.
Alexandra MichelleAlexandra Michelle If I could go back to a time I’d be with you. And I’d thank you again for almost being the healing to my heart.
Aimee C. HoveyAimee C. Hovey I was a living breathing nightmare and he was my favorite dream catcher.
Juwairiyyah OlgarJuwairiyyah Olgar
Meet the writers
More on age
The fundamental event of the modern age is the conquest of the world as a picture.
Martin HeideggerMartin Heidegger Old age and treachery can always overcome youth and skill.
Jordan PetersonJordan Peterson Staying young means being willing to learn, evolve, and be open to life.
SadhguruSadhguru We are entering the age of infinite examination and of compulsory objectification.
Michel FoucaultMichel Foucault We stand at the end of the Age of Reason. A new era of the magical explanation of the world is rising.
Adolf HitlerAdolf Hitler Will you stay up late with me tonight? sit quietly while I write you into a piece of art that will be a marvel for the ages?
Carmen AmadosCarmen Amados Life is a lonely journey. We expect and even believe that someone will always be there for us, but that illusion fades away with age and time.
Anand ThakurAnand Thakur Nostalgia seems to haunt me these days I wonder if it’s old age or just a phase.
Celine ZabadCeline Zabad
Keep exploring
More Comedians