Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
WILL ROGERSIf you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
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Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
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There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
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Common sense ain’t common.
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Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
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Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
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The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
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If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
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Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS