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I never met a man I didn’t like.

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Man Meet never One Liner

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS

Fact Government Joke Report Watch
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
WILL ROGERS

Election Man Politics Unfortunate
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
WILL ROGERS

Association Learning Man People Reading Smart
Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS

Inspirational Right Sit Track
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
WILL ROGERS

Politics Truth
An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
WILL ROGERS

Cry Laugh Onion People Vegetable
There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
WILL ROGERS

Government Match Men Play
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
WILL ROGERS

Chance Insult One Liner Shut Up
You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS

Advance Civilization Kill War
No man is great if he thinks he is.
WILL ROGERS

Greatness Man One Liner
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS

Joke Pratical Trouble
The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
WILL ROGERS

Admit Observe Party Politics Worse
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
WILL ROGERS

Death Difference Government Meet Tax Time
Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
WILL ROGERS

Chew Funny Man Slap Tabacoo
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS

Funny Happen Hard Time Tragedy
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS

Art Diplomacy Finding Rock

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