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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

Will Rogers

There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
WILL ROGERS

Government Match Men Play
Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
WILL ROGERS

Government Pay Thankful
We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
WILL ROGERS

Applaud Hero Sit
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS

Funny Happen Hard Time Tragedy
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS

Fact Government Joke Report Watch
You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
WILL ROGERS

Greatness Judgment Man Missing
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
WILL ROGERS

Politics Truth
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Earn Human Nature Impress Money People
Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Land Stuff
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS

Art Diplomacy Finding Rock
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS

Deep Different Ignorance One Liner Reality Subject
You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS

Advance Civilization Kill War
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
WILL ROGERS

Death Difference Government Meet Tax Time
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
WILL ROGERS

Country Job Morning President
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
WILL ROGERS

Election Man Politics Unfortunate
Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
WILL ROGERS

Life Live Serve Work

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

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