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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

W. C. Fields

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

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