Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDSI never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS -
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS -
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS -
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS -
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS -
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS -
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS -
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS -
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS -
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS