There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDSI never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
-
-
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS -
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS -
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS -
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS -
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS -
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS -
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS -
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS -
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS -
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS