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Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

W. C. Fields

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

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Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

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