black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

W. C. Fields

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS

Break Himself Honesty Man Myself Smart Yourself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes