Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDSThis job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
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Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
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I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS