If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDSSome things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
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Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS -
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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You can’t cheat an honest man.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS -
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS -
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
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If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS