black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.

W. C. Fields

I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself

Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes