Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDSAh, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS -
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS -
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS -
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS -
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS -
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS -
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS -
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS