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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

W. C. Fields

I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

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