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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

W. C. Fields

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

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