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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

W. C. Fields

Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

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