Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDSI always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS -
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS -
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS -
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS -
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS -
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS -
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS -
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS