black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

W. C. Fields

I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes