Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDSBeer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS -
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS -
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
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The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS -
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS -
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS -
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS -
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS