If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDSBeer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS -
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS -
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS -
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS -
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS -
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS -
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS -
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS -
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS -
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS -
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS -
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS -
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS -
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS