I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDSI didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS -
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS