black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

W. C. Fields

If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison

I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

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I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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