black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

W. C. Fields

I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes