black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.

W. C. Fields

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes