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Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.

W. C. Fields

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.

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Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.

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