black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.

W. C. Fields

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes