black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

W. C. Fields

I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes