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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

W. C. Fields

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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