The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDSTry till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
More W. C. Fields Quotes
-
-
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS -
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS -
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS -
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS -
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS -
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS -
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS -
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS -
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS -
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS -
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS