The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDSI never met a kid I liked.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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I drink therefore I am.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
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It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
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I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS