Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDSI never met a kid I liked.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS -
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS -
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS -
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS -
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS -
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS -
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS -
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS -
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS -
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS