Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDSI never met a kid I liked.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
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My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS