black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

W. C. Fields

Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

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