black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

W. C. Fields

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes