I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDSWhen life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
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Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS